Signs of ADHD

By Donovan Baldwin

I have ADHD. I was not diagnosed until I was in my 60's. Here's some facts about people like me:

1. I might explode if I don't say everything, right now, no matter what.
2. Once a conversation gets past the first sentence I'm lost.
3. The answer to a question in the middle of a conversation is uhhhh.
4. Post-it notes and scraps of paper are how I keep track.
5. Grown-ups do things that don't really matter to me
6. A repetitive system works for me...until it doesn't any more
7. A calendar or appointment book...which I forgot I had anyway
8. Trying to decide which white socks to buy
9. Taking out the garbage and winding up washing the car
10 Finding strange things in strange places, with no idea why.
11.Remembering why
12. Wanting to keep driving because your mind is quiet...or busy
13. Lying awake for three hours because your mind won't shut up
14. Thinking of something and doing it...right then...no matter what
16. You clean a room by throwing everything away, or stacking it
17. You need a pet that cares for itself (spouse)
18. "Fun" equals "sensory overload" equals "not fun"
19. Multiple "Windows" open on your computer (5 - doing good)
20. Out of sight, out of mind...literally.
21. You stop studying an instrument as soon as you know how it works.

Adult ADHD - Hyperactivity and Being Stuck in Time

In the letters, ADHD, the "H" stands for "hyperactivity".

This "need for speed", or, at least, movement, can manifest itself in many ways.


It's one reason those of us with adult ADHD may move on to the next thing before we are finished with what we are doing, for example. It may also manifest itself by our getting up, moving around, fidgeting, etc.

As children, this hyperactivity may be more noticeable, but, we adults have often learned to control it to some degree.

However, the need to "do" something is often still there exerting a force on our lives, much like a magnet exerts an unseen force on nearby iron filings.

People who have adult ADHD experience the effects of the condition at various levels and in various ways, so, when one person talks about their experiences, someone else may not relate to it 100%. But, realizing that someone is affected in a given way may give insight into something that you have experienced but not quite understood.

In my adult ADHD world, "hyperactivity" sometimes actually manifests itself both as "activity" AND "inactivity".

I recently used an example of this to explain to my wife why, even though I love to travel, I don't always find ways to enjoy short visits to specific areas.

When I arrive at a new place, or, one I haven't been to in a while, I have to run around looking at things and places, but, not "doing" anything. I feel driven to "hit the high spots" right off the bat.

Hyperactivity at work.

Then, I begin to become aware of activities or interests which extend beyond simply driving down the street where I grew up and looking at the place I used to play with my dog. However, it takes me a couple of days to begin to see the various opportunities in the area rather than just sightseeing.

But, as I begin to realize that I am leaving in a couple of days, I start to shift back to a waiting mode and just feel like sitting around, because something is "going to happen".

It's like that today, even at home. I have promised to take my daughter to the local Greek Fest at noon. Even though it is still 8 AM, I feel unable to DO anything, even type this short post simply because I am ready to DO the noon thing, and, my hyperactivity will not let me put it to the side to do something else.

I don't know if anyone else experiences this sort of problem with adult ADHD, but, as I said, we each have our own unique experiences.

Adult ADHD - Why I've Got To Do It NOW!

Many people who know someone with adult ADHD wonder why "those people" have to drop what they are doing and immediately start something new, just because someone mentions that it needs to be done.

Well, I drive my wife crazy with this one all the time. Even when she starts a statement with, "You don't have to do it right now...", or, "Finish what you're doing first..."

Seldom works.

The instant she says whatever it is, I have stopped what I was doing and started on her request.

Why?

There actually are a couple of reasons...at least in my world.

WHAT DOES THE "H" STAND FOR IN ADHD?

Hyperactivity, right?

In a kid, you expect a lot of running around, but, in some adults, at least, "hyperactivity" can simply be the Mad Hatter in your head telling you to "Move along...."

As soon as you add a new item to my "list" of things to do, my brain shoves it to the top, and I feel almost compelled to start on it. Right away!

Another reason, at least for me, is years of experience in the fact that, if I don't do it now, it's going to get lost in the sequence. I may have the best intentions in the world of doing "B", as soon as I am done with "A", but, if "C" comes along in the meantime, I am going to forget all about "B". In fact, I might STILL quit "A" before I am finished and move on to "C"...never mind about "B".

In other words, if I don't do it now, it probably isn't going to get done. Then, I will feel bad at another failure to do what I was supposed to do, and, whoever wanted me to do whatever is probably going to interpret my failure to follow through as laziness, or that I just don't care.

Of course, when I drop what I am doing to do what I was asked to do, I am also failing to complete that task.

If I was doing something for someone else, now they are going to be disappointed. If I was doing something for the person who requested "B", they will not be happy that I completed "B" (or at least started on it), they will probably only be upset that I didn't finish "A".

If I was doing something for myself, I will see not completing my project as a(nother) failure, AND, I will be upset that I was not allowed to complete what I wanted to do.

Recognition and Treatment

It can be hard to recognize that someone has adult ADHD...even if it's you.

I wondered for decades, "What's wrong with me?"

I didn't know how to recognize ADHD.

People told me in one breath that I was very intelligent, and that I should be able to do great things, and, in the next, that I was lazy, and/or had my head up my....

Well, you fill that one in.

Most of my early education, in the 1950's and 60's was in Catholic schools, and nuns knew nothing about "learning disabilities", especially if you were intelligent, and I tested at the "genius" level. For me, grade school and high school were pure HELL.

When I went into the working world, I was able to hold my own, but, every day, no matter how good the job or how nice the people, was 24 hours of fear. I was afraid that people would figure out all the mistakes I made, most of which I was able to cover because I WAS intelligent enough to work around, or cover up, most of my screw ups.

Still, I failed at jobs, failed at relationships, failed my own expectations, and failed at fulfilling anything that COULD have been my destiny.

And always, I asked, "What's wrong with me? I am a genius. I work hard. Why can't I do the things 'ordinary' people seem to do with ease?"

Over the years I saw the tests in magazines and read descriptions, and wondered...

Then, I just figured, "Nah. Can't be a real thing. I'm just broken in some way."

Finally, a doctor in the Atlanta area diagnosed me with ADHD.

She gave me an Aderall prescription. I took the first pill, and, about 15 minutes later, I was in a book store, reading labels on the books on the shelves.

That's when it hit me.

Up until that moment, those books would have been a blur. Not a visual blur, but, a mental one. The sheer mass of book spines should have been causing me to practically run out of the store.

On that day, however, I was casually reading each and every title and author on each and every spine.

The next day, I drove my 45 minute drive to work, from Stone Mountain, Georgia, to Alpharetta. I was, as usual, in stop-and-go traffic. Shortly before I arrived at work, I realized that not only had I been able to keep track of traffic, and my own driving, much better than usual, but, I had also thought about a specific topic for almost the entire drive, AND, had actually arrived at a conclusion, rather than jumping from thought to thought and arriving frustrated that I had spent so much time spinning my wheels...literally and figuratively.

I had my own experiences with recognition and treatment of my ADHD, and, each of us is different.

If you have, suspect you have, or know someone who might have adult ADHD, Emily Willingham, PhD, has written an article you might want to read: Adult ADHD: Recognition and Treatment Approaches.

Weighted Belt Helps ADD Kids

I am not going into much depth here, as a lady named Brenda Nicholson recently covered this quite extensively in a post to HER blog, An ADD Woman.

In the post on her blog, A Miracle Belt for ADHD, she starts with a review of a book, Playing Catch with Destiny: How the Miracle Belt Changes Lives, by Michael Williamsen.

Originally intended to be a baseball story with its focus on minor league player, Matt Bruback, it eventually changed direction and became a description of how Matt had developed the "miracle belt for ADHD" which is mentioned in the title.

As Brenda Nicholson points out in her post, the important story for those with ADHD is the additional tool for dealing with ADHD.

I won't go any further with a review. I have not read the book, Brenda apparently has. You can read her review here.

You can also visit the Miracle Belt website.

As I mentioned, I don't have a lot to say personally about the book, but, I will mention that my grandson has ADD, and his mother, my daughter, is trying to raise him without medicating him. She has worked closely for some time with counselors and teachers, and one tip she got was to make him a weighted vest. She bought the material and the weights, and, with the aid of her sister, since she is visually impaired, was able to make the vest.

He has worn it at home and at school. Teachers have noted the difference it makes in his behavior, and, he, a second grader, already realizes how much it helps when he feels like "my brain won't shut up", and even asks for it at times.

Do You Really Know What It's Like to Live with Adult ADHD?

Actually, that's a trick question, because each person with adult ADHD is a different person, with different levels of the condition, different symptoms, varying levels of symptoms, different abilities which help or hinder coping, family support, or lack of....

Well, you get my point.

I am pretty classic.

I forget things, particularly if there's a list of instructions or a sequence involved.

I am easily distracted. What I call my "Look! There's a squirrel!" condition.

I cannot focus. Don't try to talk to me if the TV is on. If you want a serious discussion, or really want me to listen TO YOU, turn the TV or radio off. Don't talk important stuff to me in a crowded room or other busy place. I am probably going to lose track of what you are saying anyway, but, it will happen faster.

I am a genius, and that helps. I can figure out what you wanted, what I'm supposed to do, and....having adult ADHD, I just lost that train of thought.

It happens.

One other thing.....

I feel stupid, ashamed, and embarrassed every time it happens. Over the years, many people have drummed into me that I am lazy, stupid, disinterested...or...just plain no fun to be with.

Those are some of the things I feel. If you have adult ADHD, you may have different experiences. If you do NOT have adult ADHD, you may be trying to understand someone who does.

A recent article, What It's Like to Live With Adult ADHD offers another person's view of what life is like if you suffer from ADHD.

The author Jaime Lutz, a writer and comedian currently living in Brooklyn, sums up part of her point of view in this paragraph:

"Panic over starting a new job; depression and feelings of low self-worth from consistently failing at tasks that other people find easy; and, most of all, skepticism and condescension from other people who think it's not a "real" disability. I'm far more embarrassed telling people I have ADHD than telling them I take antidepressants."

As I read through Jaime's article, I noticed that while we have similarities, we also have differences, which I pointed out at the start of this post. As I said, we are not all alike and specific symptoms and difficulties may occur from person to person.

One difference between us, which may account for some of the other differences, is that she was diagnosed as a child AND as an adult, while I was not diagnosed until I was in my 60's, in the meantime, I was simply regularly informed that I was lazy, no good, and stupid. More than one person in my life informed me that, "You've got your head up your ass."

By the way, one additional point that both Jaime and I and most other people with adult ADHD share: additional mental disorders. Most people who have adult ADHD have at least one other mental disorder. I have mild OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Jaime says she suffers from depression and anxiety disorder in addition to ADHD. I personally used to have what I now recognize as panic attacks, but, I just did not have time to deal with them and learned to just tune them out.

It's a good article and worth the read if you are interested in knowing what it's like to live with adult ADHD, or just want to compare your experiences with someone else's.

Adult ADHD - Lists, Patterns, and Repetition

By Donovan Baldwin

Everybody with ADHD has a different set of experiences, problems, and solutions.

For me, one of the best things that ever happened to me was being diagnosed. Once I had that, I could forgive myself for some of the things I had done, as I realized that they were part of the condition.

However, it WAS KNOWING that gave me tools to work with...or, at least, set me on the path to finding those tools.

As I researched ADHD in general, and adult ADHD in particular, I became aware that I, like many others with the condition, had stumbled on some of the tools for coping with adult ADHD by accident.

One simple tool is the list.

Even "ordinary" people can benefit from a list, whether it's a "to do" list, a packing list, or a shopping list.

In one of my favorite books, The Art of Thinking, by Abbe Ernest Dimnet, which was published in 1928, I believe, the author recommends using lists to accomplish various tasks, as most humans cannot keep up with all the details involved in packing for a trip or a major shopping trip.

For the person with adult ADHD, a list is invaluable.

Not only does it allow you to use time BEFORE the event to cover all your bases, it allows you to effectively perform all the actions required, or acquire all the goods required, but, it also allows you to forgive yourself for what you didn't get, since it wasn't "on the list".

Patterns are another adult ADHD coping device.

Every morning, I make coffee for my wife and myself.

Making coffee sounds like a simple task, but, if you have ever taken, or taught, as I have, the course on how to talk someone through making a peanut butter sandwich, you realize that even such a simple activity has a lot of finite and discrete steps.

It is easy for someone with adult ADHD to get lost in the process.

However, having a pattern helps.

I found that if I went in cold, especially just out of bed in the morning, I could really screw things up. I would up with hot steaming cups of water (no coffee), unsweetened coffee, or my wife's coffee in my cup and mine in hers, and neither of us likes our coffee the way the other does.

Now, I set up the cups left to right in the same order every day (and at the QuikTrip when we stop there for coffee), and set the sweetener packets behind them in the proper order. I then put in the sweetener, add the coffee, add the cream...etc. In fact, since I know exactly where the cups and the sweeteners should be, for example, I can even set everything up the night before (while I am still wide awake), and stumble through the process in the morning with my eyes closed...metaphorically speaking, since I AM dealing with boiling water.

Repetition is another adult ADHD coping tool.

Some actions, including the coffee ritual, are done regularly. If I repeat them often enough, they can become more natural and rely less on my "Look! There's a squirrel!" brain to complete the task without missing something.

As they say, practice makes perfect.

These are tools that I use almost daily...well, the coffee ritual IS not only daily, but multi-daily. I would really like you to leave a comment to let me know whether or not this has been of help to you, and to share YOUR tools and techniques for coping with adult ADHD.