Everybody Sees What You Didn't Do

I am 68 years old, but I can remember in 1st grade in the early 1950's working my butt off to do something and standing there afterwards proud of my efforts. Then, someone, usually a nun, since I went to Catholic school, told me about all the things I HAD NOT done.

I would clean a room and then find out that it was still filthy. I would finish a book report and find out that I had left out all kinds of important things.

Even in my 40's, in the army, I would work until I was about to drop to do something well, and then be told about several things I had left undone.

It seemed I could never satisfy anyone, and, one of the reasons seemed to be that I did not see what others saw. I would be told to clean up a room, for example, and stare at it for several minutes trying to figure out what was wrong that needed to be changed! Or, if it was bad enough to get through to my brain, stand there and feel my brain shutting down due to an inability to understand how or where to start.

Things became worse when I already had something on my mind. I spent part of my life in Lost in Space robot mode, my brain screaming, "Overload! Overload! Overload!"

I don't know how to convey to people without ADHD what it is like to have it. I don't know how to convey how painful it is to recognize, day after day, that you have once again screwed up something very simple.

Even those who care about you and realize that you have this problem consider it to be just an annoyance to you, not realizing that, for some, at least, it is a constant and painful thing, like some crippling childhood disease which you never grew out of.

I don't want to compare myself to someone who has lost a limb, but it allows me to make an analogy. Having ADHD, for me, is a bit like losing that limb and having to stand and watch others play because I don't have a wheelchair or crutch.

Good Article: on Adult ADHD

"People think adults with ADHD choose to be lazy, unproductive or squander their assets. Apart from the diagnosis not being recognized, the disorder isn’t viewed as a serious neurological condition like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, which it is."

This quote is from the online article, Expert Tips for Adults with ADHD - Adult ADHD Symptoms Aren’t Like a Child’s, By Jennifer Oldham. It's a good article for those adults who have ADHD, and maybe even MORE IMPORTANT for those who have to live with them.

Heck, WE already KNOW we're screwed up! We've been dealing with it for years. We have some understanding of what's happening, even if we don't know why or blame ourselves.

Those around us just think we're lazy, crazy, stupid, not teachable, a pain in the....

Well, they have THEIR problems...but sometimes we're IT.

Read the article, and check out these books which are recommended in the article:

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD

Scattered Minds: Hope and Help for Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder